Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Allegra Fairweather's ABC of Christmas

Posted by: Janni Nell

When I was trying to come up with a topic for this blog, I considered doing my own ABC of Christmas, but then I figured Allegra’s would be much more fun.

A is for Angel – Casper, of course.

B is for Breakfast – with pina coladas on Christmas morning.

C is for – well, duh! Work this out yourself. I’ll wait.

D is for Dad – my real Dad, who is missing, presumed dead, somewhere in the Australian outback. Wish I was spending Christmas with him.

E is for Eating – for all her faults, Mom does a great Christmas dinner.

F is for Friends – Happy Holidays Wanda.

G is for Gifts – and they’d better be good ones. My multimillionaire stepfather, Steven, can afford it.

H is for Holly – No, not the green stuff with the red berries. I’m talking about the b*tch who teased me in grade school. Hope she gets everything she deserves this Christmas.

I is for I – it’s all about me.

J is for Jingle Bells – will someone stop playing that song!

K is for Kiss – the one I won’t be getting from Casper

L is for Little Allegra – my niece, who prefers to play with wrapping paper than her presents.

M is for the Mistletoe I’ll be stomping on – it’s no use when my favorite angel isn’t allowed to kiss.

N is for New Year – bring it on.

O is for OMG Casper looks hot in that elf costume.

P is for Parties – but I’m often working Christmas. The paranormal doesn’t do holidays.

Q is for Quick thinking – moving away from the mistletoe when undesirables are around.

R is for Reality Check – get over it people, fighting over gifts is not in the holiday spirit.

S is for Sister – Lily loves Christmas.

T is for Too much information – Steven’s colleague kissing Mom under the mistletoe.

U is for my Usually poised Mom kneeing him in the groin.

V is for Very drunk, which is the only way to endure Mom’s Christmas parties.

W is for wish – if Casper turns up gift-wrapped under my tree I’ll be a happy camper.

X is for Xmgrz – a swearword in Witch that describes my feelings about Christmas.

Y is for – Why the heck is do we do this every year?

Z is for zzzzzzz – snoozing after a big Christmas dinner.

From Janni Nell: Wishing everyone a joyous and peaceful Holiday Season.

From Allegra Fairweather: bah humbug.


  1. I wouldn't mind Casper under my Christmas tree either, but failing that angelic miracle, ... I do believe my pick is J -- "J is for Jingle Bells – will someone stop playing that song!" Please!

    I don't know if you're old enough to remember this jingle, Janni (or any other Aussies) but ...

    Jingle bells, jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin's run away. Wonderwoman lost her bosom flying TAA, hey!

    ahem...and that is why I'm not such a huge fan of Jingle Bells :)

  2. Oh, that's great, Janni.

    And Jenny, I remember that jingle AND TAA!! LOL!

  3. Jenny - I never heard that jingle but I'm old enough to remember TAA.

    Eleni & Maria - thanks for stopping by.

  4. Eleni ... so relieved someone else remembered TAA and the jingle ... Janni, I'm not sure what it says about Eleni and me that we know and *remember* such jingles. Magpie memories or misspent youth? :)

  5. wow, Janni... so sorry about your Dad... I will go call mine right now. Best wishes to you for Christmas with your family.


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