Get More Wins by Reevaluating Expectations

by Maureen Bonatch 

This year was already going to be different. My twin daughters had started college in the fall, so we contemplated how we would celebrate Easter. My husband and I decided we’d drive down to the college that weekend. It would be the first Easter we’d ever celebrated without our parents and extended family, but we knew things were going to change now that our girls were in school. We just didn’t realize how much things would change this year—for everyone.

Chaos and Corona

The coronavirus caused chaos for just about everyone’s life in early 2020. Outside of concerns about health and wellness, many plans were cancelled or delayed. The virus had taken control of our lives and left us with uncertainty, and stress. That Easter weekend at the college didn’t happen, along with many other things, and the girls are finishing their second semester virtually from home.

Changing Expectations

Changes often lead to a lot of disappointment when things don’t turn out how we expect, unless we look for ways to reevaluate our expectations and make the most of a situation out of our control. We still didn’t get to celebrate Easter with our parents and extended family, but we got the gift of having the girls at home for Easter—the first one we’ve ever spent with only our immediate 

family.

Scruff has a lot of toys- but he can have just as much fun with a stick.

Winning With Writing

Nothing gives me, and most authors, more pleasure than sharing my stories and characters with the world. I wrote a lot of flash fiction when I started writing. Most of these short stories are tucked away on my computer, until I found an opportunity to unearth one, Detective Paws and Lip Gloss, and release it in an anthology. It gave me great pleasure to revisit these characters and release it in an anthology for a good cause.

Detective Paws & Lip Gloss is featured in Book 1

I have many stories in draft form. Some need polishing, while others are far from finished. These stories weigh on my conscious. They’re more impatient for my time and attention than a toddler, filling me with guilt at leaving them unfinished.

One of those partial stories was from last November. It first year in many that I didn’t ‘win’ (write a 50,000 word story) in National Novel Writing. I had a great story idea, but with an overloaded day-job schedule, I didn’t get very far. It left me very disappointed. I’ve decided to change my expectations for that story and release it in an anthology this fall. So perhaps I didn’t fail, and I can still ‘win’.

Other Ways My Expectations Have Changed During COVID

• Less going out to eat = more time having dinner with my family & save money

• Less time for concerts, and getting together with friends = more time to walk and exercise

• Girls not getting to return to campus = more time together, including Mother’s Day

• Challenges getting paper products and cleaning supplies = becoming more mindful of what I use

Look for Happiness Today

Sure one day I might be one of those old ladies hoarding cleaning wipes and toilet paper because of COVID-19, but for now, I can challenge and change my expectations to be happier today.

How Have You Changed Expectations to Increase Your Happiness?

Author Bio: Maureen Bonatch grew up in small town Pennsylvania and her love of the four

seasons—hockey, biking, sweat pants and hibernation—keeps her there. While immersed in writing or reading paranormal romance and fantasy, she survives on caffeine, wine, music, and laughter. A feisty Shih Tzu keeps her in line. Find Maureen on her website, Facebook & Twitter

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The Morning After

Most romance novels end at the beginning: The main characters commit to each other, guaranteeing a Happy Ever After (HEA). We might accept a Happy For Now (HFN) in erotic romance and erotica. This only true "rule" of romantic fiction is that the main parties involved end up happy and together.

A few writers and readers will quibble over the "together" part. Is it possible, for example, to kill off the hero in a noble sacrifice at the end of the book (especially if he's already knocked up the heroine a la COLD MOUNTAIN)? Some say yes, but most (including many of those hero-killing authors) will assert that this choice puts the book outside the boundaries of "romance."

We romance readers want to believe that after the party's over, the love continues unabated and problem-free. We read series and related novels not just because we want a new romance, but we want reassurance that all is still well among the titans of Susan Elizabeth Phillips's Heaven, Texas. We want to see babies and new homes and flourishing businesses and convivial gatherings that further reward our favorite heroes and heroines for the hardships they endured in their own books.

Duke William and Duchess Kate fed into our fantasies this week. Romance writers around the globe saved the PDF of their wedding program into our research files. We scribbled notes as we watched the parade of hats before dawn. These two living, breathing kids (I know, I know. But I'm a hella lot older than they, and I watched him grow up. No matter how much hair he loses, he'll always be a boy to me) have the weight of managing their own HEA both in real life and as fictional characters.

Yup. Wills and Kate are fictional characters. They're cultural constructs and national symbols. They're never to be constipated, never to be dishonorable, never to fail each other and, more importantly, never to fail us.

Otherwise, they'll find themselves facing the Wrath of the Romance Author. Since the 1990s, thousands of books have been written in which Camilla did NOT get her man. Diana has survived and morphed into someone stronger, wiser and able to catch a bullet in her teeth. The handsome prince has been shown to be a hollow shell, and new heroes have arisen with fangs and claws and powers that mere mortal royals simply can't compete with.

Poor Kate and William. We're rooting for you. Honestly we are. We want to see regal dignity, genuine warmth, eternal fidelity and all of the rewards we promise the characters we create.

But we write modern romances now. The obstacles of your parents' generation (and ours) can be overcome by technology, prayer, good sex, marriage counseling and drinking blood. You have no excuses for hurting each other from this day forward. If you do, writers around the globe will pull out our styluses and give you what you deserve.

And...being optimists, we'll pin our hopes yet again on the next generation.