Romance and Mother's Day

The family is getting together Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day with a big brunch. Instead of anyone cooking, we’re going to a local family style restaurant. I’ve been saving calories all week to enjoy a stack of pancakes that my husband will finish.

Last Thursday, I stood at a rack of Mother’s Day cards to buy one for each of my two daughters. This is always a long process. I make every effort to get cards that have the right sentiment and reflect something of their personality. It took some time, but I came away successful.

There are others in our group, Cori’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I searched for cards for them as well and found myself smiling.

I promised you romance. Let me back up a bit. This past weekend our son, Ari received his Master’s Degree in Cyber Security. 
Paul and I, along with our daughters and their families went to Boston for graduation. Saturday, Ari and his girlfriend Kate had a Cinco de Mayo graduation party. Ari thanked everyone for their support and help. He saved the best for last, thanking Kate. He turned to her and told her how he couldn’t have made it through grad school without her, he couldn’t do anything without her, and the truth of the matter is he didn’t ever want to be without her. He got on his knee and proposed.

His friends were curious why Kate was so surprised. Surely, she picked out her ring. Well, no. The ring belonged to Ari’s great grandmother, Ida, who gave it to my mother Grandma Jessie, who gave it to Uncle Alan, who gave it to me to hold for Ari. My mom is no longer with us. I know she would have been pleased to see Ari and Kate so happy. There wasn’t a dry eye in the backyard.

Last Thursday, standing at the card rack, while I still reveled in the excitement from the weekend and looked forward to Sunday, I found myself thinking of the Mother's Days of finger paint pictures, pasta necklaces and single carnations. I browsed reading the sentiments and realized what a wonderful, loving family. So, Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Missing Moms in Fiction

Looking through the list of eighty books I’ve read this year, I was struck by how few had mothers as main characters. Part of this is due to my reading choices: I like high-action novels, usually paranormal romances or SF/fantasy novels. Often a woman with child is seen as being unable to have an adventure—diaper-changing and battling demons don’t go together.

Here are the stats: 

Women who gain a child at the end of the book: (4) Eidolon, Fatal Deception, Of Noble Family, Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen

Women who have a grown-up child: (1) Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen

Women who have a child: (2) Voyage of the Basilisk, Alien in Chief

Fathers who have a child: (7) Stolen Luck, Entreat Me, Alien in Chief, Changes, A Line in the Sand, Wolfsbane, Sycamore Row

Child whose rescue was a plot point: (1) Changes

Novels where the main characters had no children: (68)

So fathers are still more likely to be main characters, presumably because it’s more socially acceptable for them to leave the kid with a caretaker and go off on an adventure. Interestingly, the two books I read with women who had a child (and used nannies) were characters who acquired the child mid-series.

I’m just reporting here BTW, not finger-pointing. Of my own novels, the only woman-with-kids character I can claim is Penny from Running on Instinct, who both has a little boy and is pregnant.

The phenomenon of missing moms is even worse in YA novels. 

Many mothers are simply dead. There’s a reason why Harry Potter is an orphan. Not only does he gain instant sympathy points, but he has no parents to turn to and thus has to solve his own problems—a key ingredient of a YA novel. I’ve written my share of orphans--Medusa Noire in The Catalyst and Johnny Van Der Zee in Frost—but it’s unrealistic to have every YA character have dead parents.

Also popular are missing moms or moms who are off-stage. Sometimes their mysterious absence forms the core goal for the protagonist, sometimes the protagonist is merely staying with another adult relative with the mom is off-screen somewhere. I freely confess to doing this in both Through Fire & Sea and Amid Wind & Stone.

Then there are horrible mothers. I've used that one, too. Mike, in my Violet Eyes series has dreadful foster parents and a large part of his character arc in Golden Eyes is dealing with his issues.

Much harder to pull off is a parent who is actually there and has a good relationship with the protagonist. Because if they’re a caring parent, why aren’t they helping their kid?

One strategy I’ve used successfully (in Dreamfire and Dreamline) is to give the mother a blind spot. She loves her daughters and is a good mother—but she doesn’t believe in psychic stuff and therefore is no help to the main characters and even stands in their way.

Another way to handle this dilemma is to make the mother powerless. Katniss Everdeen’s mother in The Hunger Games is a good example. There is nothing she can do to prevent the repressive government from taking Katniss away once her name is drawn.

Angel’s parents in my Violet Eyes series are similarly hampered. Because they are actors hired to play the role of her parents, they have no legal standing. If they protest and try to help Angel, they will be forcibly separated from the daughter they’ve grown to love.

Still, in all, I feel that there is room for more mothers in SF/fantasy and YA fiction. As a writer, I shall try to do better to represent them. What do you think?

The Magic of Mothers, According To Our Authors

 In honor of Mothers Day, our Authors share ~ The magic of mothers is....

“...they love you even when you're behaving like an idiot.”  Janni Nell, DANCE OF FLAMES (Carina Press Presents: Editor's Choice Volume II)

“…the ability to read the minds of their offspring. Mothers know their children better than anyone can know anyone else in the world. So you may THINK you are getting away with something, but you never really know …  Tia Nevitt, THE SEVENFOLD SPELL

“In many ancient pagan faiths, women were considered sacred because they were seen as the gateway between this realm and the realm of spirit. Only women can create new life, and if that isn't magic, I don't know what is.” Barbara Longley, FAR FROM PERFECT/Fall 2012 MONTLAKE ROMANCE

"… is best expressed in a finger-painted masterpiece stuck to the fridge." Jenny Schwartz,  WANTED: ONE SCOUNDREL

“…Their love expands to cover every challenge.”  Shawna Thomas, ALTERED DESTINY

“...even when you drive them to the end of their rope, they get up the next day with a whole new cable.”  Cindy Spencer Pape  MOTOR CITY MAGE

"...unconditional love."  David Bridger, QUARTER SQUARE

“…their ability to do ten things at one time." Sandy James, RULES OF THE GAME

“…someone who can take the place of everyone else but no one in the world can replace her.”  Ruth A. Casie KNIGHT OF RUNES

“…..the unfathomable amount of forgiveness within their hearts.”  Annie Nicholas, OMEGAS IN LOVE

“…that only they know the secret formula for ghost spray, the magic words to banish monsters, and have kisses that can heal everything but a broken heart... for those they use hugs that shelter you
from the world.” Seleste deLaney, BADLANDS

“... their uncanny ability to know when their child is being 'too quiet'.” Nicole Luiken, GATE TO KANDRITH

"..that they hold their children's hands for a while, and their hearts forever." Angela Campbell, CRY WOLF

“... the ability to love you even when they (rightfully) want to strangle you.” Jax Garren,  HOW BEAUTY MET THE BEAST,  coming in November!

“…the way they connect all the generations and all the branches of even the most farflung family, with  their love.” Veronica Scott, WRECK OF THE NEBULA DREAM

“…a hastily given, sweet, sticky kiss. The magic of mothers is little arms pulling you close for a hug that's never long enough. The magic of mothers is a tiny hand resting trustingly inside yours. The magic of mothers is your heart walking beside you. “  Kaily Hart, POINT BLANK

We'd like to wish every Mother a magical and happy Mother's Day from Here Be Magic!

What's the most magical thing about your  mom?