Spoilers—To Peek or Not to Peek

There is a study out there that argues that knowing Spoilers can actually increase your enjoyment of a novel.   SpoilerAlert: Stories are not Spoiled by ‘Spoilers’.   

My first response to this was Get Out of Town, cuz I HATE spoilers.  People who read the ending first baffle me. I refuse to even read series books out of order.  In fact, I don’t  read blurbs if I can avoid it. Too often I’ve seen them ruin a surprise in the first few chapters of a book, or raise false expectations or be just plain wrong.  If I love a series or trust an author, I deliberately don’t read the back cover blurb.  I prefer to have the story unfold the way the author intended.  (Don’t get me wrong: blurbs are necessary.  I would never consider buying a book by a new author without reading the blurb. Movie or book ads that rely on rave reviews drive me crazy. I don’t care if  Such-and-such gave it five stars. I care about genre and PLOT.)

But then I thought about it some more and realized that the article might explain why I also love to reread my favorite books. There are books I’ve reread so many times I practically have the plot memorized, and yet I still enjoy reading them.  The second (or third or fourth) time around, I love to spot the little hints dropped in by the clever author along the way.  I love to reread tense action scenes, character interactions, and, of course, sexy times.  (When rereading I often skip descriptive passages entirely. I’m also less likely to reread mysteries than romances or fantasy novels.) I also really enjoy watching Game of Thrones on TV even though I've read the books and know exactly what's coming for the poor characters.

Different readers consider different things to be spoilers. My husband doesn’t understand how I can enjoy romance books when I know going in that the couple is guaranteed a Happily Ever After.  (This makes me roll my eyes since the books he enjoys, SF and fantasy, have happy endings 95% of the time, too. The plucky hobbits defeat the all-powerful Sauron, not the other way around.)  To him the HEA is a spoiler in and of itself. To me it’s a promise that I will be entertained and not depressed.

Here’s another article which argues with the original study’s conclusions: Scientific Explanations of Why Spoilers are So Horrible.

Do you hate spoilers?  Do you ever reread your favorite books?

A Game of Kandrith: A Mash-up of Game of Thrones and Gate to Kandrith

If you read fantasy at all, I’m sure you’ve heard of Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin’s massively popular (and massive) series.  (BTW, I love Game of Thrones.  Both books and TV series are awesome.  Just sayin’.) 

Now, as it so happens, I have a fantasy novel out myself called Gate to Kandrith.  Do I write like George R.R. Martin?  No, I do not.  I write like myself. J  However, the similarity of the titles Game, Gate, made me wonder what it would sound like if you mashed the two together.

So, here goes:

A GAME OF KANDRITH

The morning had dawned clear and cold, with a crispness that hinted at the end of summer.  Almost time.

They set forth at daybreak to see a man beheaded, twenty in all. Sara’s stomach compressed into a hard knot as the tall, cadaverous high priest of Nir, the God of War, rode among them.  This was the first time he had been deemed old enough to go into the banquet hall with his lord father and his brothers to see the king’s justice done.

Seeking reassurance, Sara touched the crossbow she’d secretly had mounted to the underside of the head table in the ninth year of summer, and the seventh of Bran’s life.  Hidden by a blue tablecloth, outside a small holdfast in the hills, her fingers found the crossbow bolt she’d loaded, the cord she’d cranked back still taut, ready to fire at the man she thought was a wildling, his sword sworn to Mance Raydar, the King–beyond-the-Wall, as soon as she gave a hard pull on the lever.

Here’s the true beginning to Gate to Kandrith:

Almost time.

Sara’s stomach compressed into a hard knot as the tall, cadaverous high priest of Nir, the God of War, strode into the banquet hall.

Seeking reassurance, Sara touched the crossbow she’d secretly had mounted to the underside of the head table.  Hidden by a blue tablecloth, her fingers found the crossbow bolt she’d loaded, the cord she’d cranked back still taut, ready to fire as soon as she gave a hard pull on the lever.

Read more here:

Click here to purchase Gate to Kandrith. 

And, for those few souls who don’t have their own copy, here is the real opening of Game of Thrones:

The morning had dawned clear and cold, with a crispness that hinted at the end of summer.  They set forth at daybreak to see a man beheaded, twenty in all, and Bran rode among them, nervous with excitement.  This was the first time he had been deemed old enough to go with his lord father and his brothers to see the king’s justice done.  It was the ninth year of summer, and the seventh of Bran’s life. 

The man had been taken outside a small holdfast in the hills.  Robb thought he was a wildling, his sword sworn to Mance Raydar, the King-Beyond-the-Wall.

Anyone else have a fun mash-up they've thought of?  Post it below.

Barbarians Do It Doggie Style

Please note I'm an avid fan of George RR Martin's Fire and Ice series. I wouldn't miss a second of the new HBO series Game of Thrones that just began this past weekend. I loved it. I loved the series on which it's based. Looking back at my formulative years of writing, I credit Martin and Robert Jordan with giving me the desire to write stories as wonderfully epic and sweeping as theirs.

So while this is a complaint of the series, it's done tongue in cheek.

There was a big stink in the NYT about how all the sex must have been thrown in "as a little something for the ladies, out of a justifiable fear, perhaps, that no woman alive would watch otherwise." Lots of people tweeted and commented and blogged about all the women who love fantasy in general (self included), Martin's series in particular (ditto), and anyway, the criticism that the sex was "thrown in" for HBO audiences is ridiculous to anyone who's actually read the books. (The sex was already there!)


But that's not what I'm riled up about.

I'm simply so offended for barbarians everywhere because of their treatment in this series that I couldn't remain silent. I can't even blame it on HBO, because this dastardly failure to accurately convey barbaric sensuality occurs in the books too.


Seriously, who could possibly believe that barbarians *only* know how to perform sex in the doggie style position?


Of course, I can see the foundational thought process. If they're barbarians, they must be around livestock or wildlife a great deal, so naturally they emulate the creatures about them in their bedchambers. Wait a second, though. Doesn't that mean they should have animal dens instead of tents? Or why not just doze standing up out in the pasture?



In the book, Khal Drogo is seriously befuddled when Daenerys gently proposes that she turn around and face him during their nightly intimacies. Yes, a fourteen-year-old girl comes up with the idea to face each other during sex, but not her much older (and presumably experienced, thanks to all the public affection displayed by the Dothraki) barbarian husband. I guess all those battles he'd won seriously damaged his... Oh, never mind, I won't even go there.


Poor Drogo. I know several barbarian warriors who are laughing at him.


On the other hand, royalty in the Fire and Ice world tend to indulge in incest to keep the bloodlines pure. Maybe it's not so bad being a barbarian!

If you watched Game of Thrones this week, what did you think?