I too have ME. I've had it for 23 years, actually, but although I've been writing for most of that time it's only now that I feel qualified to write a main character who has ME and manage not to make the story all about the fact that she has ME.
So Storywalker will be autobiographical, in that I'm a writer with ME writing a character who has ME, and this is the first time I've done it. The first time I've done it openly, anyway.
I did it once before, but not openly. In my first ever published book, Beauty and the Bastard, my hero Saul is a fallen angel whose sentence on Earth includes him being imprisoned in stone whenever the sun is up. Every evening, when he falls free from the stone, he suffers terrible muscle cramps until his circulation gets going again. Here he is:
The pain started when the sun went down. Saul had trained himself to deny its inevitability, day by day, so he could enjoy those few moments when the sun's sinking glory almost touched him, when warm light filled his eyes and he almost remembered how that felt. But always, as soon as the final golden glint winked out, the pain consumed him. He felt that. He definitely felt that.
Sometimes, tired and jaded and unwilling to face the daily workout, he tried to stay in the stone. He couldn't. The pain only increased until it hit screaming pitch and forced him to push free and fall to the ground, gasping and writhing in agony.
Muscle cramps were the most immediate and severe pain, especially in the big muscles of his arms and legs, but they were also the ones he could deal with most easily through a combination of stretches and a good lick of salt on his tongue from the little bag in his coat pocket.
Less acute, but longer to throw off, were the dull hammering headache and the pins and needles. And the headache always got worse while he drank bottled water and exercised his sluggish circulation back to life. Only when everything else was working properly and he could relax enough to breathe deeply, did the brain pain start to retreat. He'd perfected this routine a lifetime ago, but the ordeal had never gotten any easier.
As far as I'm aware, only a few people who are close to me recognised that as my own wake-up condition. ;)
So, over to you. Have you ever written an autobiographical passage in your fiction? Have you ever recognised one in a book you've read?
David Bridger blogs here, tumblrs here, and tweets here.
Grrr, blogspot ate my comment. Here's my second try:
ReplyDeleteI believe it takes a lot of courage to share something so personal with the world, but at the same time I can't think of a more honest way of writing (people do say to write what you know). For me, it's a safe bet to assume any and all public humiliations my leading ladies undergo come from personal experience. I'm accident prone and have foot-in-mouth syndrome, and have found that the best way to cope with my numerable blunders is to look at them as material for my books.
That's wonderful, Sotia. I love characters like yours. :)
ReplyDeleteHi David, that's a beautiful, horrible passage. It takes on a new meaning when I know it's autobiographical and I think it takes a special sort of bravery to put your personal pain into fiction, yet do it so well. I tend to run away from that kind of honesty in my writing and I see it as a weakness now. You've given me something to think about! Thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kat.
DeleteBut, whoa! I'd never say it's a weakness - everyone to their own path - and I'd certainly never call your writing weak! :)
I've put elements of autobiographical stuff in stories on occasion, but it's usually filtered so that someone reading it wouldn't recognize what I'm doing. But I love writing stories that are cathartic in some way; I think that gives them more emotional power.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading the new book!
I think it does, too.
DeleteI hope you'll enjoy it. Aiming to finish it by the end of summer, but no idea if I'll find a publisher for it.
I loved Beauty and the Bastard, never realized that the passage was autobiographical, but it was brilliantly written. I included an incident from my first date with my now-husband in a book. I may have embellished it a little...but not by much.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to Storywalker.
Thank you, Natasha! Was your husband impressed, or not? :)
DeleteWell, the incident was...shall we say...humorous. And he didn't seem to mind I made it even more so :) Love a guy with a sense of humor. :)
DeleteYep, love a woman with a sense of humour too. :)
DeleteThe passage is even more harrowing, knowing that it's your pain, too, David. It's beautiful, though, and the way you put that agony into words is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sela!
DeleteDavid, you're one of the best writers I know. Now I see that you're also one of the bravest. Thanks so much for sharing this. I love your books, and can't wait to read Storywalker!
ReplyDeleteOh, Barb. What a lovely thing to say. Thank you. You just brought tears to my eyes.
DeleteI've never considered anything autobiographical. It seems to me that it will be quite a challenge. The best of luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gordo.
DeleteThat was a beautifully written passage. I think the best writing is informed by personal experience, and it does take a certain amount of courage to pour yourself onto the page. It was hard for me to write my heroine in In Heaven's Shadow because her awkward relationship with society is, well, let's just say, built on a solid foundation. Good job using your negative experiences in positive ways, David.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Good job, you, too. :)
DeleteI've never written anything autobiographical, but it's always been in the back of my mind to do something. Maybe in a couple of years when I've got more time I may just consider doing it. What a lovely passage, made all the more poignant because it is a representation of your struggles. Congrats, David.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elianne.
DeleteMy favorite quote is from that movie "Before Sunrise" with Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like, "I believe if there's any sort of God, it's in that space, between you and me." The act of communicating. I like when authors can pull things from their own mind and experiences to share with others. There's something very holy and sacred about that. So I thank you for sharing, David. My second favorite quote from a movie comes from "Still Breathing" with Joanna Going and Brendan Fraser: "The tamale has never been seriously represented in American cinema!"
ReplyDeleteThank you, Aiona.
Delete