What's in a Name, Part Two

 So I'm having issues with my author name. This is not entirely a new thing. Who knew that using just initials, rather than my whole name, would cause such problems? Well, actually... 

There was a numerologist I met at my first book signing who tried to warn me that it was a bad idea, for some reason--but, by then, I had multiple books published, contracts signed for half-a-dozen more, and had invested several years  in websites, email addys and author promotions. It seemed a bad idea to switch. 

But if I'd 'd known then what I know now...I think I would have done it. Apparently it makes a lot of difference if you use periods between the initials or not. And given that my first publisher decided to add an extra space between the P. and the G.? World. Of. Pain.

A lot of the time, online searches don't recognize that PG Forte and P.G. Forte are the same author--even though we're both showing the same books. Goodreads still doesn't recognize me without the dots. Amazon has finally learned not to care...although Author Central still insists on greeting me as simply P. rather than PG...which drives me low-key crazy. Facebook, OTOH, insists on styling it as Pg--which confuses everyone.

 How would you even pronounce that?

As someone whose given name is Patricia (and who's been through Patty, Pattie, Patti, Pat, Patricia, Patrice, Patsy, Tish and probably a few more that I can't recall). And as someone who can't even agree with all her own siblings on how our long-ass, Sicilian last name should be pronounced, let me just say that I. DON'T. GET. IT. 

It's not that hard! Really. It isn't. And yet...

It's been difficult to get traction--and that's not even counting any of my other issues, like writing in multiple subgenres, or changing taglines and website layouts to suit my mood. 

Which reminds me. Have you seen my latest tagline/website banner? I wrote a blog post about them HERE.

To make things worse, in the last few years--while I've been less productive than usual--some pharmaceutical company in India has started selling pain medication (or, I don't know...it could be a vitamin? It's not real clear) called PG FORTE. 

You can't make this shit up. 

I mean, I guess it's better to be associated with something that takes away pain and leaves you radiantly healthy rather than the opposite. But seriously???

Which leads me to this week's fixation. Google's Knowledge Panels. I lust after them. I google other authors' names simply so that I can drool over how pretty and full they are. I'm turning chartreuse with envy. But, google my name and no adorable little box pops up to greet you. Le sigh.

HOWEVER, if you google author P.G. Forte books you'll find a box with some of my currently-out-of-print books. AND if you google Forte PG (although why, for the love of all that's sane or rational, would you ever do that?) you'll find a box with some of my indie books. My traditionally published books are just missing altogether.

Which kind of makes you wonder what those PR departments are doing, doesn't it? No? Just me?

Anyway, I've been working with Google to try and "claim" my knowledge panels, with an eye toward updating and consolidation, but it's been hit or miss. They've verified me as P.G. Forte, but they can't find proof that I'm Forte PG. 

Well, duh.

To make matters worse, it seems Chrome had set all my profile links to private. And Safari was pleased to inform me that they've been actively preventing Google Analytics from "profiling" me across nine different websites--including all my own blogs. 

Look, as an introvert, I do like to hide from time to time. And, yes, privacy is very  important, and sadly lacking in the world today. But TOTAL INVISIBILITY just doesn't strike me as being a good promotional strategy for a business.

I  guess maybe I should have paid more attention to what that numerologist was saying all those years ago.

Even Fake People Read (And Like?) Romance Novels

So there I was one recent morning, struggling to wake up, sipping on some caffeine-infused liquid, and browsing headlines online, when one pretty much jumped out at me:

“Google using romance novels to train its artificial intelligence to write fiction”

All righty then. Naturally, I clicked on that click bait. Like some of my fellow Here Be Magic-ers, I tend to write romantic fiction set in a paranormal world, so my first thought was, I wonder if AL (I was half asleep so my eyes had originally misread A.I. as AL in the first sentence, but I thought AL worked so I immediately named Google's artificial intelligence AL) … anyway, I wonder if Al had read any of my stuff, immediately followed by, I wonder if Al liked it? Plus, does Al write reviews?

Once I stopped self-absorbing the headline, I actually read the rest of the article. Wow. Al is kind of a deep poet. I mean, I’m no poetry fanatic and I suck at poetry, but I’m pretty sure Al has me beat at deep, dark poetry prose. Click on the link above to read a sample of Al’s work.

I was curious about Al’s other creations, so I Googled more about it and only found a bunch of articles written by journalists apparently shocked that Al had picked up some good writing from reading “bodice-ripping romance novels.” Because of that stigma, you know? I hate that stigma.

I won’t go into all of the reasons I personally think romance novels are awesome, but I will praise Google for making Al a politer and more romantic fake person by reading our books. Also, someone who writes sci-fi should totally take this premise and run with it for their next sci-fi romance. Or maybe not. It kind of mirrors this movie (“Uncanny”) I watched recently on Netflix, which was OK but a little slow in parts, but I suppose it’s worth watching if you like sci-fi romance thrillers. 

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Angela Campbell writes paranormal mysteries about psychics and their pet sidekicks. Learn more about her and her books at www.AngelaCampbellOnline.com.

My Google Search History

Like all writers, my Google search history could probably get me arrested. I research some seriously weird stuff, and not all of it is for what I’m writing. Sometimes I just get distracted. Or sometimes I really wonder if I can make a bomb out of dishwashing liquid and baking soda. You can’t, but you can make slime.

Every now and then I surf back through my search history looking for something I forgot to bookmark. This is both fun and time consuming, because I often get distracted (again) by interesting looking links. I’m going to share some of the most fascinating ones. But be warned: if you’ve only got a minute to spare, you might want to bookmark this post for later!

Wikipedia’s list of potentially habitable exoplanets

This is one of my favourite pages on the internet. I visit here a lot, and not only because I write science fiction. I like to browse this list simply for the sake of imagining what Kepler 452b might be like. I also use this list—and the measurements involved—when creating planets of my own.

List of English terms of venery

Collective nouns, people! I love this page. It’s another Wikipedia staple for me and I use it a lot.

Behind the Name

I have a rule when I’m picking names. If the character is important (read: lives to see the end of the book), I will choose their name carefully—exploring both the history and meaning. If the character is probably going to die, I just pick something. Usually the kid from school who pushed me off the fence, or stole my pencil, or was just really snotty and unattractive. If I’m writing something speculative, then I use Rinkworks’ awesome name generator. I used it to name Qek from the Chaos Station books, and to pick the names of several planets. Sometimes I will swap a letter or two to make it sound even more exotic.

Unique Combinations

Yesterday’s searches were all to do with current writing project and included: men’s sport shirts from Brooks Brothers (a certain someone dresses very well), New York’s East River, the exact definition of light speed (which has absolutely nothing to do with the contemporary romance novel I’m currently writing), several visits to Merriam Webster to check spellings, balsamic glazed pork chops (dinner) and inheritance law. So…I guess you could surmise I planned to knock off someone who wears good suits by tossing them in the East River. I would then escape using my, um, space ship that can travel faster than the speed of light and be home in time for a pork dinner.

I also spelled everything correctly along the way.

I don’t think any of my searches could actually get me arrested, but there are a number I’d hate for my husband or daughter to see. You see, in addition to creating alien worlds, I write romance. Gay romance. So there are usually two dudes in my books and at some point, they’re going to get it on. Seeing as I am not a guy, I sometimes have to look a couple things up. Just to make sure I’m getting it right. Then I might linger, just to make sure…

Ahem.

I’m not going to list those links here, y’all can fill your own Google histories with that one. I do have an excellent list of resources for anyone who’s interested, though—and I’m not talking porn. There are some awesome websites filled with Q&A just for folks like me, or for the super curious.

The colour of snot

The list of links for writers is endless and I’m sure even non writers could find themselves in the position of having an interesting Google history. One of the wonders of the internet is information at our fingertips. Stuff we need to know, stuff we’d like to know and the things we wished we’d never looked up. Like what colour snot is. Yes, I linked that one, it’s totally gross and I shouldn’t have to bear that scar alone.

Tumblr

And when we’re tired of just the plain old internet, there’s Tumblr, where the weird can get weirder with every click and scroll.

Leaving you with a link to my Tumblr, appropriately titled: There Is No Plan. It’s mostly SFW, unless you consider naked bums NSFW, which I suppose most folks would. They’re few and far between and not on the first page, though. ;) Mostly, I collect pictures of pretty things. Men, landscapes, art and books. In fact, my Tumblr is a lot like my search history and a pretty good indication of what we all get up to online.

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About Kelly

If aliens ever do land on Earth, Kelly will not be prepared, despite having read over a hundred stories of the apocalypse. Still, she will pack her precious books into a box and carry them with her as she strives to survive. It’s what bibliophiles do.

Kelly is the author of a number of novels, novellas and short stories, including the Chaos Station series, co-written with Jenn Burke. A lot of what she writes is speculative in nature, but sometimes it’s just about a guy losing his socks and/or burning dinner. Because life isn’t all conquering aliens and mountain peaks. Sometimes finding a happy ever after is all the adventure we need.

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