Friday, September 14, 2018

Jelly's Not a Cream

Posted by: PG Forte

Image courtesy of:

So, as you’ve probably guessed by now—thanks to the graphic at the top of the page—today is National Cream Filled Donut Day. Huzzah!

Don’t worry, I didn’t know about this either until I went looking in search of a topic for today’s post. And, to be honest, I wasn’t immediately convinced that it was a topic I could relate to. Cream-filled has never been my go-to donut. Too many times the “cream” is more like cake frosting—which I’m pretty picky about in the first place. And which, even when I do like it, I’d rather enjoy on top of a cake. Where it belongs. 

Inside a donut, on the other hand? Yeah, not so much. Although, obviously, that’s just my opinion. Your mileage may vary. My husband, for example loves chocolate cream filled donuts. And, just so we're clear, he loves chocolate donuts, filled with chocolate cream. With chocolate glaze on top. Of course.

Personally, I've always preferred jelly donuts. I even wrote a poem about them once — way back in my very, very emo teen days. They were a metaphor for something, obviously; I no longer remember what. Heartbreak, perhaps?  No matter. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was highly unoriginal, and as sickeningly sweet as…well, donuts filled with cake frosting. But I digress.

So, there I was, seated at my desk, pondering. Could I write a post about jelly donuts instead of cream-filled? I mean, why not, right? They’re both donuts, they’re both filled…

And that’s when it happened. A little voice spoke up inside my head and said (in a very distinct, partially disguised Aussie accent) “But Jimmy, jelly’s not a cream.”

Actually, that’s not entirely accurate. What the voice actually said (because none of the voices in my head are ever that concise) was:

“And he said to the kid, ‘give me a jelly donut—with cream.’ And the kid looked confused. So, I said: ‘but Jimmy, jelly’s not a cream.’ And I laughed, and the kid laughed. And then he punched me. He punched me real hard, the bastard.”

Which I’m paraphrasing because—shockingly—you can’t actually find that scene on YouTube. But, trust me, it was something very close to that.

The voice, of course, was Nicole Kidman’s and the quote is from Practical Magic—arguably one of the best paranormal romance movies of all time. Well, I would argue it, anyway. And a movie I’ve watched so often that huge portions of the dialogue are now indelibly imprinted on my brain.  All of which led me to the realization that I couldn’t possibly write a blog post about jelly donuts on National Cream Filled Donut Day, because jelly’s not a cream.

Which, of course, brought to mind another movie scene—Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail, explaining how the answer to every question can be found in The Godfather:

The Godfather is the I Ching. The Godfather is the sum of all wisdom. The Godfather is the answer to any question: 'What should I pack for my summer vacation?' Leave the gun, take the cannoli. 'What day of the week is it?' Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday. ”

Oh and by the way, that scene can be found online, if you’re interested:

But enough about that. See, this post isn’t really about movies per se. And, unfortunately, as it turns out, it’s not about donuts, either. And, to all the donut aficionados out there who were hoping it was, you have my sincerest apologies. What I ended up marveling over, instead, was how creative works—books, movies, paintings, songs, etc—can worm their way into our consciousness and become part of our shared cultural experience; how they can change the way we think, the way we speak, the way we look at things, the decisions we make. How they can change us.  It’s pretty amazing, actually. Very powerful stuff.

Just this week, for instance, I got a review (for Edge Of Heaven) from a reader who said she had to stop reading several times because she was so moved by my main character’s plight that she couldn’t stop crying. I can’t think of a better compliment for a writer than to be told that something you've created has, miraculously, had that kind of impact on someone.  Stephen King has famously claimed that writing is a form of telepathy. Personally, I think it’s more than that. I think it’s magic.  

By the way, and apropos of absolutely nothing to do with either donuts or movies, I would like to mention that the first few episodes of my lightly-paranormal, haunted hotel/menage story, Truth Or Dare, are available on Radish Fiction. If you like your stories in bite-size pieces, you might want to check it out:

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