10 Reasons to Buy Monster in My Closet

So, we’re a month away from the release of my debut novel, Monster in My Closet. I know your to-be-read pile is probably teetering sideways like a triple stack of pancakes, threatening to topple over the side of your plate and ooze butter and maple syrup down the side of the table leg and puddle on the floor where you’ll probably step in it with your socks and leave a trail of sticky footprints on the tile until you hit a carpeted area where you’ll pick up carpet fuzz and leave bare spots in the middle of the living room.

I hope you’re not renting. You’ll never get your deposit back.

What were we talking about? Ah. Why you should add Monster in My Closet to your already-enormous TBR pile. Allow me to present you with not one, but ten reasons to go straight to your favorite e-book seller and pre-order it right this minute. Here are some relatively spoilerless highlights within the pages:

1. Red Velvet Death by Chocolate wedding cake
2. Iron Fist zombie shoes (see photograph)
3. Tiny, dive-bombing fairies
4. Carpet stain shaped like Phyllis Diller
5. Super-hot paramedic with a secret identity
6. Deadly incubus in a pirate shirt and tight jeans
7. Stolen produce from a witch’s garden
8. Bob Saget with a talking fish
9. Total bridal meltdown
10. Fairy Homeland Security

There you go. Ten reasons why you cannot live without this book.

Go now! Hurry! What if all the digital copies are gone already? There's only so much digital ink out there, you know. Pixels are precious. You can pre-order it at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. 

Do it for the hot paramedic. Do it for the tasty baked goods.

Do it for Bob Saget.